Posts

MPs

Ok so after “waking up” at 8am (I hadn’t sleep for 4 days), I decided on Monday morning to call Jess Philips’ MP office at 11am. I was off from work and enraged still by what’s been going on with the police. After a few rings, I connected to a human male. An actual person. I explained that I needed to talk to Jess Philips about a domestic abuse case and the police, then gave my name. “Ah I’ve found your emails, sorrry I’ve not had a chance to read them yet”, he said. Obvious that’s fine, it was early. I let him read them.  He was horrified by what I’d explained. He was so sympathetic and kind, but ultimately, Jess Philips is not my MP and despite being the Domestic abuse Minister, she can’t interfere with police forces from other counties. That being said, Jess would be so concerned about my case that she would support my MP with it. Awesome, I thought. Rules are rules but it’s amazing to actually speak to a person about this who has the ability to empathise! I then emailed my loca...

Policing and Crime Commissioner

I requested a meeting between myself, my mum and Surrey's Policing and Crime Commissioner. She has a whole section on her website about the safeguarding of women and girls, so I am really hoping that she will listen to what's happened and be appalled.

Subject Access Request & Information Commissioner's Office

I raised a subject access request with the police to obtain body cam footage of my mothers arrest, as well as the reasons for arrest document, which is submitted by the custody officer. The police data team has come back to me and said... they cant give me that information as it could prejudice their ongoing investigation. I can request another subject access request once their investigation is complete - but that could take a verrrry long time and they wouldn't exactly message me to let me know. I replied and pointed out their reply is nonsensical. This is information we were already privy to, as we were there when my mother was being arrested (body cam footage) and my mum was told the reasons for her arrest when she was incarcerated (though she doesn't remember them, as she was exhausted and terrified, which seems reasonable in the circumstances). How can someone's arrest prejudice the investigation they are being arrested in connection with? How can telling someone the r...

complaint to the IOCP:

To Whom It May Concern, Subject: Formal Complaint Regarding the Treatment of my mother I am writing to make a formal complaint regarding the arrest and overnight detainment of my mother, on the night of Friday, 13th December, at ‘the named’ Police Station. The treatment she received demonstrates a lack of understanding of domestic abuse, surviver trauma, and (named county) Police’s obligations under its Domestic Abuse Policy and Safe & Together principles. Background Context: My mother is a survivor of sexual abuse, coercive control, financial abuse, physical abuse, and domestic abuse throughout her 40+ year relationship with my father, Since leaving him in December 2023, after a particularly violent incident where he broke her finger, she has been living with me for safety and recovery. (Named county) Police are currently investigating my mother’s allegations against my father, with (named) Detective handling the case. The Incident: 1. Unjust Arrest On 13th December, my mother a...

The police don't know what sexual assault is

The facts When I was 18, I defended my mum against my dad and, as per usual, I ended up becoming his target.  He accused me of being effeminate, gay and having no friends. After arguing back with him, he put me in a headlock. He then proceeded to stick his fingers into my mouth, reaching as far in as he could whilst cutting off my air with his arm around my neck. "I've just had a shit and not washed my hands. You like the taste of my shit don't you, you f****t" His inference being that because I'm gay, I would enjoy analingus and the taste of faeces. Allegations As part of my allegations to the police, I included this incident. "It happened more than 6 months ago, so it's outside of the time to be brought to us", they told me. I did a bit of research and while they are correct in saying that summary (minor) offences are time limited, more serious offences like sexual assault are not. Obviously this is physical assault but with a sexual component. Sex...

The police don't know what theft is

After my mum was arrested on Friday night, I was told by the two police officers attending that we weren't allowed to take her car, filled with her clothes, photographs and pictures as "an allegation of theft has been made" and they need to investigate first. I went into law mode firstly asking who had made the allegation and whether it was credible. The police informed me that my father's friends, the ones who reported us as breaking into my mum's house (with her), had said the car was filled with stolen goods. I questioned whether it was a credible allegation, given my mum was just here, it's her house, her car and filled with women's clothing and photos of her with her sisters and children.  The police told me that they had a duty to investigate all allegations. I then alleged that the police officer had stolen my phone, that my dad had stolen all my belongings and that his employees had stolen my money. I told him to investigate my allegations too. He ...

Test for Arrest

After some research, I believe the police have made a fundamental error in arresting my mum, especially the way in which they did. If they had a warrant for her arrest, which they didn't mention again after taking her in, it would have needed to be signed off by a judge. If that process had been followed, a MARAC should have been called. This is a multi agency meeting to help safeguard the victims of domestic abuse.  At that meeting, they should have considered whether my father's allegations were likely "counter allegations" - being made in the way an abuser typically would. The guidance shows how they resolve counter allegations to find out who the victim truely is and the guidance also details why this is crucial - namely to protect the victim from further abuse, trauma and prevent a distrust of the authorities. Even in the unlikely event that they believed two phone calls made by an unknown number to my dad in August and that my mother walking her dog needed furt...