Domestic abuse and the police UK (England)

To Whom It May Concern, Subject: Formal Complaint Regarding the Treatment of my mother I am writing to make a formal complaint regarding the arrest and overnight detainment of my mother, on the night of Friday, 13th December, at ‘the named’ Police Station. The treatment she received demonstrates a lack of understanding of domestic abuse, surviver trauma, and (named county) Police’s obligations under its Domestic Abuse Policy and Safe & Together principles. Background Context: My mother is a survivor of sexual abuse, coercive control, financial abuse, physical abuse, and domestic abuse throughout her 40+ year relationship with my father, Since leaving him in December 2023, after a particularly violent incident where he broke her finger, she has been living with me for safety and recovery. (Named county) Police are currently investigating my mother’s allegations against my father, with (named) Detective handling the case. The Incident: 1. Unjust Arrest On 13th December, my mother a...

The facts When I was 18, I defended my mum against my dad and, as per usual, I ended up becoming his target.  He accused me of being effeminate, gay and having no friends. After arguing back with him, he put me in a headlock. He then proceeded to stick his fingers into my mouth, reaching as far in as he could whilst cutting off my air with his arm around my neck. "I've just had a shit and not washed my hands. You like the taste of my shit don't you, you f****t" His inference being that because I'm gay, I would enjoy analingus and the taste of faeces. Allegations As part of my allegations to the police, I included this incident. "It happened more than 6 months ago, so it's outside of the time to be brought to us", they told me. I did a bit of research and while they are correct in saying that summary (minor) offences are time limited, more serious offences like sexual assault are not. Obviously this is physical assault but with a sexual component. Sex...

After my mum was arrested on Friday night, I was told by the two police officers attending that we weren't allowed to take her car, filled with her clothes, photographs and pictures as "an allegation of theft has been made" and they need to investigate first. I went into law mode firstly asking who had made the allegation and whether it was credible. The police informed me that my father's friends, the ones who reported us as breaking into my mum's house (with her), had said the car was filled with stolen goods. I questioned whether it was a credible allegation, given my mum was just here, it's her house, her car and filled with women's clothing and photos of her with her sisters and children.  The police told me that they had a duty to investigate all allegations. I then alleged that the police officer had stolen my phone, that my dad had stolen all my belongings and that his employees had stolen my money. I told him to investigate my allegations too. He ...

After some research, I believe the police have made a fundamental error in arresting my mum, especially the way in which they did. If they had a warrant for her arrest, which they didn't mention again after taking her in, it would have needed to be signed off by a judge. If that process had been followed, a MARAC should have been called. This is a multi agency meeting to help safeguard the victims of domestic abuse.  At that meeting, they should have considered whether my father's allegations were likely "counter allegations" - being made in the way an abuser typically would. The guidance shows how they resolve counter allegations to find out who the victim truely is and the guidance also details why this is crucial - namely to protect the victim from further abuse, trauma and prevent a distrust of the authorities. Even in the unlikely event that they believed two phone calls made by an unknown number to my dad in August and that my mother walking her dog needed furt...

 To whomever will listen My wonderful little 62 year old mum, my beautiful sister who suffers greatly with her health and my gorgeous and caring younger brother and I have been through a lifetime of hell. The pain has nearly ripped us all apart, both as individuals, but also as our own family unit. My father has sexually, psychological, financially and physically been abusing my mum her entire adult life. As children, this became normal to us - screaming and objects being thrown in their bedroom at 2am would send me and my baby brother running into my sister's room where we would huddle under her duvet. My sister thought my mum was being raped, I thought she was being murdered. We were regularly terrified. Objects around our house would be destroyed - televisions and vacuum cleaners were his favourites. But he would also smash up anything of any value to any of us if he wanted to. As a 9 year old, the oldest boy, I would tell my father to stop and tell him he was bad. I would step ...